Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Flying Home

Since when did they start telling you how to use the lifevest on airplanes? I don't even remember the inflatable life vest speech when I've traveled abroad and it came to me 4 times while I was flying home and back on Spring break - over all land. I also managed to have the most fabulous gentleman ever sit next to me. The flight was NOT full, I was sitting in the 2nd row in the aisle seat in the row all by myself and this guy decides to sit next to me in the middle seat. WTF? Sit in the aisle seat dude. Ok, gentleman, I know you have some extra baggage in between your legs that prevents you from sitting with your legs all scrunched against one another, but seriously, it can't be THAT big that you have to push your knees into my already midgit sized airplane seat area, especially since the aisle seat was open and available. And no ladies, he wasn't attractive. Believe me, I would have taken advantage of him, er, uh...the situation, if he had been attractive. Because we were so close I got to read not only my peanut package, but his peanut package as well ( no pun intended - haha, I crack myself up) - but seriously, ok, I get it, we have this sue happy economy that wants to sue everyone for not putting proper warnings on packaging and such, but giving me a f*ing break. Do we really need the "Processed and packaged in a plant that contains and handles peanuts" warning on the PEANUT package? OMG! Well I guess if the dumbass McDonalds HOT COFFEE lady can get 2 million - we can sue for anything... come on people, can you just quit being dumbasses? Why does the pilot always feel the need to ramble from the cockpit? They get on the microphone and feel the need to tell us what the weather is at 15,000 feet as if I could open my window and enjoy the air up there. Or the ramble so fast that I don't know what they are talking about, but it's pretty useless information anyway, so your not missing much, other than peace and quiet :) Also, I've decided that advertising is a horrible profession - it is pushing the american public into debt and making us complete idiots. Marketing, is different in my eyes, marketing a product for what it is worth is different than advertising the worst crap the american economy can come up with and convincing the american public that they need something is ridiculous. Why is it htat you've never heard of this product before in your life, or at least you've NEVER even though about buying one, and the minute you open the SkyMall magazine, it jumps out at you as if you have been waiting for it your entire life and you really need it now? For example, the "extended reach insect vaccuum" - OMG if you have a vaccuum to suck up bugs and bugs alone - A) you are a pansy - just scream for your boyfriend or your dad to get rid of it ;) JK - or B) you have entirely too much money and need to give some of it to me. Or my personal favorite, this travel pillow! Who in their right mind would buy this? Does it look easy to carry on and off a plane? And don't you pretty much look like a complete fool? Oh goodness - people will buy ANYTHING these days - let's just all buy travel pillows and go into massive debt - we can consolidate our loans and put another mortgage on the house worries! ;)

1 comment:

John said...

I have learned to hate flying in the last year. I do it out of necessity, not out of desire.

I leave you with these words from the book "Fight Club" by Chuck Palahniuk, which I bought Tuesday night at the suggestion of a beautiful lady:
You have a class of young strong men and women, and they want to give their lives to something. Advertising has these people chasing cars and clothes they don't need. Generations have been working in jobs they hate, just so they can buy what they don't really need.

We have to show these men and women freedom by enslaving them, and show their courage by frightening them.

"Napolean bragged that he could train men to sacrifice their lives for a scrap of ribbon."