Friday, September 30, 2005
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Mean Girl from Subway: "If you're a doctor, then I want a second opinion."
Neela: "Sure then, Dr. Lockhart would you like to offer a second opinion?"
Abby: "Your ankle may be broken and you're a bitch"
Monday, September 26, 2005
Sunday, September 25, 2005
I want to thank you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past 12 months. I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue-on envelopes cause I now have to get a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I scrub the top of every aluminum can I open for the same reason. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because I know it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS or another terminal disease. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually AlQaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support ourAmerican troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time). I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00PM(EDT) this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician. Have a wonderful day.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
So this is one of Chad & Christie's MANY MANY engagement photos - which they are all fabulous - (done by www.kellyjackson.com). Anyway - I just had to share with everyone.... Christie must be some lady to get Chad "I used to crawl up the grand stand at Busch Stadium" - to sit ON TOP of a high rise building! :) Congrats you two - can't wait for the wedding!
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Monday, September 12, 2005
This weekend I went to a wedding in St. Louis of long time family friend. It was really great to see the Ammann crew, including all four girls and all their children! It was also a really nice time to see my family since I've now been in Lexington a month! It doesn't feel like it, although my apartment definitely appears lived in :) Charlie & Kate were adorable, and I'm sure they will do awesome in our upcoming family wedding! The next time I get to see the fam is at Chad's wedding in October!! The wedding was beautiful and a fabulous time, those Ammann's sure know how to throw a party - I guess the should know by now since this IS their third :) Congrats Susan & Chris!
Monday, September 05, 2005
The Psalmist penned the words to describe the Hebrew people's overwhelming despair after being marched into exile. An enemy far more powerful than they could reasonably resist had conquered them. They had been forced out of their homes. They left behind most of their personal belongings. No longer could they look out on the familiar landscapes of home. They did not know when or even if they would ever return home. With each passing day, fewer and fewer found the strength to muster the courage to hope. The psalmist describes it this way: "By the waters of Babylon, we sat and wept."
Barbara Jones, Regional Minister for congregations of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in hurricane ravaged Mississippi and Louisiana quotes the Psalmist in an email today to describe her own sense of being overwhelmed at one of the worst, if not the very worst natural disaster in history of this nation.
"By the waters of Babylon, there we sat down and wept." In quoting those words, Barbara Jones, touches something deep within each us - this growing sense of being overwhelmed, helpless, even made hopeless in the face of circumstances beyond our control.
With many of you, I have struggled all week to find an appropriate way, particularly for LTS to respond. My first instinct, to encourage a group from the seminary to head south and help, was quickly jettisoned by the reality that New Orleans does not need a group of well-intentioned, but untrained, unskilled people trying to help but really getting in the way. While you and I might not be able to do much, there are some things we who feel overwhelmed can do - not the least of which is praying and weeping.
In the midst of the frustration of wanting to do something to help, but not knowing what to do, remember there is the opportunity to pray for and to weep with the suffering. Don't underestimate that as a contribution. There is something greatly to be valued in prayer; something healing about weeping with those who weep. Indeed, "By the waters of Babylon, we sat down and wept."
He goes on to mention the Week of Compassion, a direct relief arm of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) which is a much more organized and worthy way of giving time, or utilizing them as a resource to help in any way you can. www.weekofcompassion.org And as he said, prayer & weeping are not to be underestimated as a contribution. Therefore I will pray, and weep with them.
Friday, September 02, 2005
Couldn't pass up posting this - I know why gas prices have shot up lately, so I'm not going to complain about having to pay for them knowing what other people are going through - but I seriously just thought I was going to fall out of my chair this is so funny.... :)