Quarter Life Crisis

You may find yourself straying from the crowd more than any other time in your life. You start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that some people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that some of the ones you have given up on are realizing that too and that most of them are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you are. You look at your job. It may not even be close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared. You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But you start to realize that while some of them are great friends, others weren't so special after all. You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. Sometimes you feel great and invincible, and other times you feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or maybe you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap, and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. But yet, they both still seem to happen. Maybe it seems like almost everyone you know is getting married, and maybe you really love someone too, but you just aren't sure if you're ready to commit for the rest of your life yet. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself. While winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best and worst times all at the same time, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Yay for a good ER!

First off - yay for finding another ER partner in KY that is as obsessed with it as my sister, mother and I are....Thanks Andrea for helping me fit in ;) Secondly, this week's was great after a very disaapointing season premier.
Mean Girl from Subway: "If you're a doctor, then I want a second opinion."
Neela: "Sure then, Dr. Lockhart would you like to offer a second opinion?"
Abby: "Your ankle may be broken and you're a bitch"
:)

Fumes....NO Oxygen....

So I've been running again - about two miles each time - very excited to be doing that again - one problem though. I don't know my way around Lexington enough yet to go running in an area that isn't a major thoroughfare! I mean, I know it limits the places I run because I'm a woman and I normally run at night in the dark, so I DO run on major streets for safety reasons... but seriously, this has got to improve. I need to find some places to run that don't involve cars. Tonight I'm not sure if the gasoline fumes from all the cars did more damage than running does good for your body. It felt like acid in my lungs - it was fabulous. Please tell me if you know where to run that won't feel like I just inhaled an entire bottle of tobasco sauce into my lungs.

Mizzou's Rec Center

I think my most favorite part about the fact that Mizzou's Rec Center won the "BEST REC CENTER" in the nation according to Sports Illustrated is that my student fees helped pay for it and that I will never get to use it, even though I'm still a student. Thanks for the help Mom & Dad, look what you helped to create :)

The Ultimate Forwarded Message

I want to thank you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past 12 months. I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue-on envelopes cause I now have to get a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I scrub the top of every aluminum can I open for the same reason. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because I know it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS or another terminal disease. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually AlQaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support ourAmerican troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time). I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00PM(EDT) this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician. Have a wonderful day.

Scared of Heights?

So this is one of Chad & Christie's MANY MANY engagement photos - which they are all fabulous - (done by www.kellyjackson.com). Anyway - I just had to share with everyone.... Christie must be some lady to get Chad "I used to crawl up the grand stand at Busch Stadium" - to sit ON TOP of a high rise building! :) Congrats you two - can't wait for the wedding!

Tropical Storm Rita

So they say that Tropical Storm Rita may hit the "low lying Florida Keys" so Gov. Jeb Bush ordered an emergency evacuation because of the possible threat of a TROPICAL STORM. What was the reason this was not done for people in New Orleans? I mean I know that a majority of the people did - but why is this being done for only a TROPICAL STORM when they knew well ahead of time that Hurrican Katrina was going to be a very strong storm. Think maybe it has something to do with a relative in the White House not wanting to suffer the blame of another hurricane catastrophe? Hmmm.... Also - It says in the news that the storm is currently over the Bahamas right now... with 50 mph winds. I've been to the Bahamas - and I don't see it as being severly hurrican ravaged... how do they manage to cross with almost every hurricane or tropical storm and all this weather that eventually dies down... and still have tourist season every year. I mean, I foresee New Orleans still being re-built, and still being rebuilt by the time I am graduating from seminary - but these countries in the bahamas seem to do OK year after year with 19 & 20 storms forming and at the least sweeping by them. I'm really not trying to be a bitch or a smart ass with these questions - but I just don't get it...

Woodland Christian Church

I have accepted a position as the Student Associate Minister at Woodland Christian Church in Lexington! I feel very lucky, as a seminarian - most students with positions are required to travel quite a ways away to get to their congregations. I, on the other hand have about a 3 minute commute, that in nice weather I plan to walk. As the Student Associate, I will mainly be working with the youth, however I will be able to participate in many ways. The way that it was explained to me, because a "teaching church" should teach more than simply youth ministry, I will be expected to entertain many different types of experiences. They hope to help me grow in many different aspects of my ministry, which requires me to have a plethora of options! Woodland is a very socially aware church, close to down town. I'm hoping this will be a good way of at least experiencing a taste of "urban" ministries. Although I wouldn't consider them an urban church, they tend to be concerned with similar issues which at least give me a taste of it!

Final Test

I really thought that my last test ever was going to be my last final of my undergrad. I even remember it... remember thinking I would never have to study for a test ever again - I mean yeah, maybe I'd have to take a sobriety test, but you can't really study for those :) OK - just kidding, I never plan to take a sobriety test. Nonetheless, I thought that my Finance 333 - Investments - was the last test ever. It was over at 4:00pm on May 12, 2005 - I drank Wednesday night to Saturday morning when my family arrived for graduation..... I have a Theology One test tomorrow... so much for that theory! Wish me luck :)

Aunt Laura's Angel

This weekend I went to a wedding in St. Louis of long time family friend. It was really great to see the Ammann crew, including all four girls and all their children! It was also a really nice time to see my family since I've now been in Lexington a month! It doesn't feel like it, although my apartment definitely appears lived in :) Charlie & Kate were adorable, and I'm sure they will do awesome in our upcoming family wedding! The next time I get to see the fam is at Chad's wedding in October!! The wedding was beautiful and a fabulous time, those Ammann's sure know how to throw a party - I guess the should know by now since this IS their third :) Congrats Susan & Chris!

Daddy's Girl

I'm 23 and still a daddy's girl...is that ok? ;)

A Response from the LTS President

This is sort of long - but I thought it was a GREAT response to the hurricane by our President of LTS R. Robert Cueni.

The Psalmist penned the words to describe the Hebrew people's overwhelming despair after being marched into exile. An enemy far more powerful than they could reasonably resist had conquered them. They had been forced out of their homes. They left behind most of their personal belongings. No longer could they look out on the familiar landscapes of home. They did not know when or even if they would ever return home. With each passing day, fewer and fewer found the strength to muster the courage to hope. The psalmist describes it this way: "By the waters of Babylon, we sat and wept."
Barbara Jones, Regional Minister for congregations of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in hurricane ravaged Mississippi and Louisiana quotes the Psalmist in an email today to describe her own sense of being overwhelmed at one of the worst, if not the very worst natural disaster in history of this nation.
"By the waters of Babylon, there we sat down and wept." In quoting those words, Barbara Jones, touches something deep within each us - this growing sense of being overwhelmed, helpless, even made hopeless in the face of circumstances beyond our control.
With many of you, I have struggled all week to find an appropriate way, particularly for LTS to respond. My first instinct, to encourage a group from the seminary to head south and help, was quickly jettisoned by the reality that New Orleans does not need a group of well-intentioned, but untrained, unskilled people trying to help but really getting in the way. While you and I might not be able to do much, there are some things we who feel overwhelmed can do - not the least of which is praying and weeping.
In the midst of the frustration of wanting to do something to help, but not knowing what to do, remember there is the opportunity to pray for and to weep with the suffering. Don't underestimate that as a contribution. There is something greatly to be valued in prayer; something healing about weeping with those who weep. Indeed, "By the waters of Babylon, we sat down and wept."

He goes on to mention the Week of Compassion, a direct relief arm of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) which is a much more organized and worthy way of giving time, or utilizing them as a resource to help in any way you can. www.weekofcompassion.org And as he said, prayer & weeping are not to be underestimated as a contribution. Therefore I will pray, and weep with them.

This is eerie....

This article was published last year and talked about the damage a direct hit hurricane on New Orleans would ruin the city....
http://205.188.130.53/ngm/0410/feature5/

Isn't this the truth?

Couldn't pass up posting this - I know why gas prices have shot up lately, so I'm not going to complain about having to pay for them knowing what other people are going through - but I seriously just thought I was going to fall out of my chair this is so funny.... :)