Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Preaching in KC
Last weekend I went home for a small portion of my Spring Break - and I preached at Liberty Christian Church, my home congregation. It's always nice to be home, don't get me wrong, but it was really nice to be in service on Sunday morning. Even though I was preaching, what I consider "work" nowadays - I still felt like I was getting a lot of spiritual renewal at both services, which hasn't happened in a little while. In a conversation with a friend of mine, I remarked that lately, "My Bible is no longer a book to which I look for wisdom, inspiration and hope - it's a text book in which I have to read 150 pages a week for the rest of my career. Prayer is an assignment I have to do at the beginning of the class every other Tuesday, I don't go to worship on Sunday mornings anymore, I go to work." Now this comment in particular came from our discussion about the study of religion - that the more I study theology and religion - the more it is becoming less holy. I know that's a double negative or something - but its hard to describe it. The more I study the Bible, the more I realize how many errors there could be, or how our interpretations could be completely off. The more I study Hebrew, the more I realize how it is ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT A DOUBT - the MOST AMBIGUOUS language on the face of the planet - and I'm not kidding. One word can mean eye, spring or well.... what?!!? Or in Greek, on word can mean swift and silver like, or lazy - all at the same time. The more I read, the more I discover that MANY MANY religions have many of the same myths and legends that our First Testament shares - in a different form of course - but all these things, it's hard to see theology as a divine inspiration of faith - and its becoming more an area of careful philosophical study. All I can say is that because of the faith I have grown up with, that I have developed throughout my life, I know that eventually....when I no longer have assignments and when my grades are no long riding on all this, I'm sure I'll "come back around" - but to see the spiritual side of my experience, to feel it again, to know in my heart that this is the one true way - that's getting smaller and smaller.... I guess it's not necessarily that I am questioning that Christianity is right and that I'm going to choose something else - Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam etc etc are all so tainted by the culture and society around them throughout the ages (example - my previous blog about Islam) Christianity shares a lot of these same characteristics and has been tainted by politics and society, just like any other world religion could have... Like I said, I'm sure I'll "come back around" - mainly because I'm willing to bet that every student who's gone through a very academic seminary such as this has experienced something similar.... because if they haven't come back around - then seminary is a big joke and their ripping people off ;) SO no worries - I'll be good - I just have to keep on going! And in the meantime - its great to go home now and again and receive some spiritual renewal!