Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Lonely Holiday

So it just now hit me that I'm going to be away from my family for most of the holiday season and that I didn't actually go home for Thanksgiving. I mean - I know I didn't go home for Thanksgiving, I'm not that dense...but it just hasn't really seemed like the holidays until now. It could be something to do with the fact that it's by 70 degrees here in KY up until today - but regardless. Rather than having ONE tradition taken away from me, all of a sudden most of the family traditions I've grown up on are suddenly different or even gone. I mean, as happy as I was to NOT run the Turkey Trot - I guess I sort of missed it. We haven't spent 4 hours in agony trying to get all of our smiles perfect while all at the same time entertaining the grandkids/nieces/nephews so that they at least have a half smile for the family Christmas photo. My mother hasn't sent me the family Christmas letter 29385 times to proofread and make sure that she doesn't make me sound like a complete idiot. The annual "girls baking Christmas cookies" has to be knixed this year. I don't get to have a flour fight with my sister and sister in law in the kitchen while my niece screams in laughter at watching her mommy act like a kid. What if I'm not ready to grow up around Christmas time? What if I start believing in Santa Claus again? Will that magivcally make everything the same again - but at the same time will Santa Claus magically go to work and class for me and pay all my bills that are due? I can't help but worrying that this year will seem a little lonely. On not as if relationships rule my life - but it's funny how quickly you forget what it's like to be single during Christmas after you've been taken for the last three years or so. Because I wasn't yet "in the Christmas spirit" I locked myself in my apartment tonight and while I cleaned a little I listened to a few hours of Christmas music. It worked - but I forgot about the other side effects..... "The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone." - Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven. I agree Mitch - but sometimes I think I can feel a little lonely while also knowing that I'm not alone....

1 comment:

bethwlowery said...

thanks for being awesome last nite... you should check my blogspot. love you!!! and seriously, you should come to bville if you want over break. i would love to see you!