deprived

you deprived me of it

for so long

and not only were you not giving any attention to me

you were taking all that i was offering

so i was doubly deprived

because i wasn't even giving enough attention to myself

i wasn't giving enough attention to who i am

to remembering who i want to be

to acting on the type of person i want to be

to shaping my life the way i hope it should be

and now its affecting everything

trying to figuring out who i am after this large part of what i thought was my life is gone

trying to figure out why you still have ANY influence on my life even though i've pushed you out

trying to figure out why you still affect my life when i so desperately hope you wouldn't

and to compound this

to compound my search to again find me, my way, and whats important to me

i'm craving something that you deprived me of

i'm craving something that you kept from me

and my addiction to something that you neglected to give me is driving me

is driving my actions now

and driving who i am now

is driving how i've acted

and so

because of this

you still continue to affect my life

you still have influence over me

and i hate that