I again have to preface this by saying - this is by no means written in response to any one person - to any one relationship - or to anyone I have been dating. There was/is no one in my mind when I was writing this...I was merely going through my blog editing something things and deleting some things and thought I would ponder these things once again...
I posted this almost 4 years ago... Valentine's Day 2005... but I think it's still fitting.
From the words of Carrie Bradshaw, "At what point does the art of compromise, become compromising?"
I know relationships require compromise. And I know that relationships are going to change me, at least a little bit - even the short term relationships have the ability to change you. But at what point in a relationship do you see yourself compromising so much that you're not necessarily yourself anymore? And if and when you hit that point, how do you know if that is a good change, or a bad change? Maybe the "yourself" you thought of all along, is not really the person you wanted to be, and that you are creating a new self while you are with this person you call your partner? Or maybe you're holding yourself back because you don't want to change, afraid that you'll change too much for that one person? Or maybe you'll just change too much in general - from what you were? Is change in these situations always bad? I mean at someone point - part of the reason you are in a relationship is because you like who you are with that other person. At the same time - we often become people we don't like when we're in a relationship. Surely there's a formula for the amount of change you do in a relationship before you do or do not like yourself ;) At some point, there is definitely somebody worth changing for. If you are not who you want to be, and that one person comes along - romantic or otherwise - we often attribute hard life changes to the support and care of others. With that - How do you decide if that one person is the right person you are supposed to be changing and compromising for? And if you have to ask yourself all these questions, is any of it really worth it?
And as I was finishing typing this blog - I only thought it fate that the radio started to play "I'm Still a Guy" by Brad Paisley - check out the lyrics ;)
When you see a deer you see Bambi and I see antlers up on the wall.
When you see a lake you think picnics and I see a largemouth up under that log.
You're probably thinkin' that you're gonna change me.
In some ways well maybe you might.
Scrub medown, dress me up, oh but no matter what remember I'm still a guy.
When you see a priceless French painting I see a drunk naked girl.
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy and I'd like to give it a whirl.
Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of
and in weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall but remember I'm still a guy.
I'll pour out my heart, hold your hand in the car, write a love song that makes you cry.
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground 'cause he copped feel as you walk by.
I can hear you now talkin' to your friends sayin',
"Yeah girls he's come a long way from draggin' his knuckles and carryin'a club and buildin' a fire in a cave."
But when you say a back rub means only a back rub then you swat my hand when I try.
Well now what can I say at the end of the day,"Honey, I'm still a guy."
These days there's dudes gettin' facials, manicured, waxed and botoxed.
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands you can't grip a tackle box.
Yeah, with all of these men linein' up to get neutered it's hip now to be feminized.
I don't highlight my hair, I've still got a pair. Yeah, honey I'm still a guy.
Oh my eyebrows ain't plucked there's a gun in my truck.
Oh thank god, I'm still a guy.