Saturday, January 05, 2008

my compass

you were the magnet in my compass

you didn't provide the direction yourself

but you helped the many aspects of my own compass

you helped me with the direction

and now i'm just spinning in circles

because you took that magnet away

you took away an aid to helping me with direction

and it just happens to be a pretty important one

and you took it from me

why did i give it to you?

why did i trust you enough?

why did i think you could handle it?

why did i think you were worthy to have that much influence on my life?

why did i give you that much control?

you aren't worthy of that

you aren't capable of that

you aren't that reliable

you aren't that dependable

why did i think you were?

why did i give you that magnet?

because now i'm spinning in circles

looking for direction

wanting you to be part of it again

not because of you

but because it was comfortable

because it wasn't intimidating

because it wasn't daunting

but it wasn't YOU that provided those things

you NEVER provided me with that much

you never provided me with direction

you never provided me with guidance

you were just there

it was really me

that provided that for both of us

so now its up to me again

its up to me

because i am reliable

because i am dependable

because i am capable

its up to me

i will provide my own direction

its up to me

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